Intimidation

Wow! I finally downloaded my google reader 2day and talk about intimidation!!! We have some awesome women out there doing some awesome things and keeping up with their blogs all at one time??!!! Unreal! Well, I live in another world... apparently...because my days are so very different from theirs. You see our family must cope with illness everyday. My husband is very sick...he has a brain encepolopathy and I doubt I spelled it right...it causes his body to suffer in so many ways it is seriously hard to keep a list. Its almost added to daily as more symptoms arise.

You have no idea how intimidating it is to get out of bed every day and know that my husband will be in it...again...all day...because he simply cannot get up without an onslaught of pain and more symptoms.

One doctor thinks its early dementia....another thinks the tumor in his brain is wrecking the havoc...and still another blames the viral encepolopathy that apparently is still there and causing extreme havoc at random will!!! Its frustrating to not beable to FIX IT!! Its scary to inagine losing my husband on a permanant basis while he lives! He is 38 yrs old....I mean sure...I expected sickness...but I never dreamed we would be dealing with possibly losing his memory so young. Our kids are 15, 10, and 5! We need him!

Sooo, then the questions come....everyone has them and seriously...sometimes the questions are harder to cope with than the daily illness! People think we have easy explanations for his illness...such as diabetes....or cancer even...but  we do not have a clue. All I know is God has a plan! The Holy Ghost spoke over Doug and told him he would be tried like Job....His illness is very trying to be sure and friends and family dont understand it any better than Jobs friends. ***Neither do we!!!*** we are scared and we just want and need support. Support is not in asking.."do you feel better?" Every time you meet us...it is in praying for us. Yes Ive been guilty of the same thing...questioning others as weve been recently questioned...but if I have learned anything from this experience...it is to never ask what is wrong with you...or where have you been...but to be like a sweet sister in the Lord...and say I dont know what all you are facing and I dont ask to...I just want you to know I care and am praying and I love yall!!! That is how I desire to be...I believe Jesus would be that way....dont you???

posted from echo al :) by my android